I feel like the moment most people are asked this question they immediately want to pick out the negative aspects of themselves. I know that was my automatic reaction to reading this question. Then I realize these negative qualities are something from the past, from a person who wasn’t me. The fact that I find these memories to be so ugly is because of the idea that I thought these things were who I am. When you’re a kid you think you know yourself so well, you’ve got the entire world figured out. What a bunch of idiots we are, I’m sure we’re still clueless at this point in our lives.
To stop rambling on about how I do not know who I am, I’ll give it my best effort anyways. I am loud and opinionated. I do not like associating with most people. I constantly question myself as to why I’ve become such a mellow person. I used to think I had to compete with everyone else, that I had to be better than the next person, I can’t imagine what possessed me to waste my time on something so silly. Some people in this dear class of mind still have this mindset. I am content with who I am and where I am going in life. Even though I will always and forever be an overthinker, I am okay with that. It keeps me alert, conscious of those around me, and I honestly just wouldn’t be me if I didn’t worry about something all the time.
Even though I know what’s good for me and I have a sufficient amount of common sense, I still let myself get in trouble. Sometimes you just have to say what happens, happens, and keep going about your night. I just want to have fun. I just like to spend my time with my best friend because frankly, I’m too concentrated on whose standing in front of me rather than my nitpicky mental conflicts. To feed off the need for my best friend, I have realized I am a very dependent person. I need constant reassurance and motivation because unfortunately I am not good at convincing myself of these things.
I am a good person. I am good at forgetting to think before I speak, I get crabby really easily. I only wish the best for those around me, no matter how much distaste I have for you. We all deserve to be content with ourselves. It’s up to you to decide if you will be the best you can be or tell yourself you aren’t anything much and give up too easily. As much as I want to, I won’t tell you how to live your life.
Who do people think I am?
As much as I want to go to my friends and mom to ask who they think I am as a person, I’ll figure it out myself. There are so many varied viewpoints that people have of me, I can’t even imagine what they could all be. I know my peers see me as a loud laugher, I laugh at everything. There’s Aaliyah with 27 different laughs, why is she laughing? That wasn’t even funny. Some people would say I am a good friend because I keep their secrets, I actually give them my honest opinions and criticism. Others would say I’m a snitch, I am two faced. Depending on my feeling towards you, these things are definitely accurate depictions of me.
I am full of sarcasm. Frankly sometimes people just don’t know when I am serious or being a smartass. I am hard to get along with in that aspect some days. Just like I’d like to think everyone else is, there are two versions of Aaliyah. There’s loud, happy me. Always wondering how everyone is doing and if they are okay. I’m easy to talk to, and I am apparently funny sometimes. Then there is the ‘quiet’ me. If you see this side of me I probably don’t like you, or you make me uncomfortable. I don’t want to talk to you, I don’t care about what you have to say. I wouldn’t be scared to tell you to go fly a kite either. Frankly you just aren’t my friend and I do not want to waste my time on you.
To really sum it up, people think I am a lot of things. That’s because I am a lot of things. I don’t know if you could accurately pin one personality type on me. I mean, if you don’t know who you yourself is as a person, how could you possibly tell who I am?
